National Coming Out Day

 “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  -Anais Nin

Today is National Coming Out Day. I still have hope that one day, people will be so open and accepting, not sticking so many labels on everyone to the point where there wouldn't necessarily have to be a National Coming Out Day, that we can just be the person we are without worrying about judgement or our safety.

 

I didn't initially come out as any LGBT term but at 15-17 I was just done trying to hide whatever part of me was there. I didn't feel safe to admit I was part of the LGBT community all that much because of some homophobia that was around me. Thankfully just being me, although not necessarily coming out, people seemed to understand and were accepting. But, I faced challenges, I still felt uncomfortable with myself. I never used the word "lesbian" on myself. I went along with a slight makeover to be more girly. I tried to fit into some perceived box while still trying to be myself at the same time. It worked but it also didn't. 

 

I will always remember watching a 20/20 episode when I was around 17yrs old, staying up after everyone had gone to bed, and it was about Transgender Children and it just hit me at my very core- I felt and understood how they felt. But, I stuffed that away for years- trying to be what I thought everyone wanted, the world wanted. While going to college I attended a class called "Human Sexuality" which had a segment on gender. Once again, I found myself emotional, crying on the way home from class, as I could identify so well with what we were discussing in class but couldn't be that person.

 

Finally, in 2016, after telling my immediate family, I came out as Transgender on Facebook. I couldn't keep hiding from my own truth, being miserable trying to be what I wasn't. I am not a female even though I was born biologically female. I am male. My brain is male. My body is a bit misaligned but I am working on that. I am a Transgender Male and I am glad I can speak that freely now.

 

I will admit, I do have my struggles still. Seeing transphobic posts on social media, the constant misgendering I deal with on a daily basis, dysphoria, and the list goes on but I wouldn't ever go back. I am glad I am out. I am happy to be the T part of the LGBT Community, to be Transgender.

 

I hope that others who are struggling to be themselves in any way can come out and be who they are. Whether today, tomorrow, next month, next year. I hope they can hear National Coming Out Day and be proud and happy they are out and not hiding still. 

 

The world has a long ways to go as far as being accepting and open, not placing people in boxes and just letting everyone be themselves but hopefully each day is a step in the right direction!

 

Happy National Coming Out Day to everyone- those who are out and those who aren't and extra strength to those who aren't and wish they could be.